Never Again
by smallvillegurl9
Summary: A story about Lionel/Lex and Lex/Clark. FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! Warnings: mentions of rape and incest.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Never Again  
  
Author: Tara  
  
Author's e-mail: crazy_girl31_2002@yahoo.com  
  
Category: angst and drama  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Rating: R, just in case  
  
Pairing: Lex/Lionel and Lex/Clark (sort of)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters  
  
Summary: Lex thinks about "the incident"  
  
**************************************************************************** ****************  
  
Clark lies asleep in Lex's arms. Lex looks down at the dark-haired angel before him and smiles.  
  
So innocent, he thinks. Innocent and naïve.  
  
Lex had been naïve once, but that had all changed. He seemed to have lost all his innocence and naivete in one night. That one night that had changed him forever. It hadn't changed him physically, but emotionally. It had left scars that ran deep. He rarely let himself think of that night because of the pain the memory caused; but for some reason, tonight he just couldn't shake his mind from regressing back to that horrible night so many years ago.  
  
He had been just 12 years old when "the incident", as he had begun to think of it, had happened. He had come home from boarding school for the holidays. Since his mother had passed away a year before, he spent the break with his father in Metropolis. It had been a long trip, and all Lex wanted to do when he finally arrived in Metropolis was sleep. Lex hadn't been asleep for very long when he heard his bedroom door bang open loudly. Lex nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound. He sat up in his bed and looked toward the doorway. His father was standing there looking at him viciously. There was something in his eyes that frightened Lex, and Lex had the sudden impulse to run. Before he could act on his impulse, his father staggered over to his bed and pinned Lex to it. Lex could smell alcohol on his father's breath. Lex tried to struggle out of his father's grasp, but his father was stronger than him and held him down easily. What happened after, Lex doesn't remember exactly. The words 'his father fucking him brutally' come to mind, but that's about as far as his mind will let him go. He can't remember details, and he doesn't really want to. He won't let his mind call up those images; they are locked so deep in his mind that nothing can bring them back. Lex doesn't mind this, though. Why bring back the pain? He does know, however, that what happened that night was very, very wrong. He also knows that it will never happen again. He may have been too weak and naïve that day, but he isn't weak or naïve now. As he has told his father before, he has no idea of what Lex is capable of. But if Lionel ever tried anything like that again, he would find out exactly what his son was capable of; and it wouldn't be pretty.  
  
As Lex goes to sleep, there is one thought on his mind "never again." 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Never Again  
  
Author: Tara  
  
Author's e-mail: crazy_girl31_2002@yahoo.com  
  
Category: angst and drama  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Rating: R, just in case  
  
Pairing: Lex/Lionel and Lex/Clark  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters  
  
Summary: Lex thinks about "the incident"  
  
Warnings: It's not graphic, but there is slight incest and rape. If that bothers you, please don't read it.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
  
Author's note: Because of the feedback I received for this story, I have decided to continue. I hope you all like it. Please let me know if you like it and if I should keep going.  
  
When Clark wakes up, it's still dark outside. He reaches over to his lover's side of the bed, but all he feels is the cool silkiness of the satin sheets. Clark sits up in the bed and whispers, "Lex?" His eyes search the room but Lex is nowhere to be seen. Clark slides off the bed and begins to search for Lex.  
  
Lex is in his study working on the plant budget, trying to keep the memories from flooding into his mind. He's so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, but every time he does close his eyes the memories come back. He never should have let his mind regress back. All it had done was brought back the pain. He wishes he could just forget about that night and just erase it from his memory forever; but he knows he can't. He had forgotten most of it, but there were still parts that were etched into his memory forever. He can still smell the alcohol that had been on his father's breath. It had been vodka, and to this day Lex's stomach retches at the very thought of the revolting substance.  
  
Lex remembers one part of the night very clearly. He remembers his father's voice, harsh, yet coaxing. He had kept his eyes closed through the entire ordeal, and his father's voice was the one thing he remembers most, his father's voice and the pain. His father had told him to open his eyes and be a man. "Luthors are not afraid, Lex, they don't have that luxury," he had said. But Lex had been afraid, terrified really.  
  
As the tears flood Lex's eyes he can hear his father's voice again, " Luthors don't cry, Lex." He breathes in deeply, trying to will the tears flowing down his face to stop, but it's no use. The tears that have been held inside for so long finally break lose, and Lex lets them. He is tired of holding in his emotions. He is tired of being a Luthor and being told what he should and shouldn't do. And, to tell the truth, he is just tired. He had only slept about an hour during the night, and it was finally catching up with him. He is exhausted, mentally and physically.  
  
As the tears streaming down his face finally subside, Lex hears footsteps down the hall. Before Lex can gain his composure completely, Clark enters the room.  
  
"There you are, I've been looking for you," Clark says, smiling as he enters the room. His smile vanishes when he sees Lex's tear streamed face and red eyes. He rushes over to his lover's side and puts his arms around him " Oh, Lex, what's the matter, baby?" He asks as Lex hugs him close and buries his face in Clark's warm cotton shirt. 


	3. Final chapter

Title: Never Again  
  
Author: Tara  
  
Author's e-mail: crazy_girl31_2002@yahoo.com  
  
Category: angst and drama  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
Rating: R, just in case  
  
Pairing: Lex/Lionel and Lex/Clark  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters  
  
Summary: Lex thinks about "the incident"  
  
Warnings: It's not graphic, but there is slight incest and rape. If that bothers you, please don't read it.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
  
Author's note: Because of the feedback I received for this story, I have decided to continue. This is the final chapter. I hope you all like it.  
  
"Lex, please tell me. What's the matter?" Clark asks as he strokes the back of Lex's bare head gently. Clark tries to pull Lex back to look at him, but Lex just clings to him tighter. They stay pressed together like that for a few moments longer when finally Lex pulls back a little and looks into Clark's hazel eyes.  
  
"Oh, Clark," Lex says, his voice filled with longing and complete anguish. " I want to tell you, I really do. I just don't know if I can," Lex says and drops his eyes to the floor beneath them.  
  
"You can tell me anything, Lex. You can trust me with anything and everything. You should know that. You do trust me, don't you?" Clark asks hesitantly, not sure he really wants to know the answer.  
  
"Of course I trust you," Lex says sincerely. " I trust you more than anyone, but it's just hard to talk about." Lex stands up and walks over to the window. He can't see out of it, but he needs something to distract him while he gets up the courage to tell Clark about "the incident".  
  
Clark waits patiently for Lex to tell him what's wrong. Clark knows it must have something to do with Lionel Luthor because Lex had yelled his name in his sleep the night before. He'd sounded so angry and hurt when he'd yelled it. Clark had tried to comfort Lex then, too, but Lex had pushed him away. Clark decides he's going to have to push a little himself to get Lex to tell him, so he says, "Does this have something to do with your father?"  
  
Lex is slightly startled by Clark's abrupt question, but recovers quickly. "Yes, it does. How did you know?" Lex asks Clark.  
  
"You yelled out his name in your sleep last night, so that's what I was thinking must be bothering you," Clark says looking at Lex to judge his reaction.  
  
Lex closes his eyes and replies, "Of course. You tried to calm me last night, too, didn't you? I'm sorry I pushed you away, Clark. I've been having these nightmares about something that happened a long time ago. I thought that they had gone away, but they returned last night. I can't figure out why. It's been almost 5 years since I've had them, and all of a sudden they're back," Lex lets out a sigh and runs a hand over his bald head.  
  
"What happened to you? What happened that would make you have such horrible nightmares?" Clark asks rising. Clark goes over to Lex and puts his arms around him and gives him a hug, a real hug; not one like his father has given him. The only time his father ever hugged him was for publicity purposes. Lex melts into the hug, and he's in heaven. It just feels so good.  
  
Lex decides it's time to tell Clark about "the incident". "Clark, if you really want to know what happened, I will tell you." Lex pauses briefly before saying quietly, "When I was twelve my father raped me."  
  
"Oh, Lex, that's horrible! I'm so sorry," Clark says as he pulls Lex even closer, if that's possible, being careful not to squeeze him too tightly. Afterall he wanted to comfort him, not hurt him.  
  
"I came home from boarding school for the holidays, and he was drunk. He came into my room that night and held me down on the bed. You can guess what happened next, and I'll spare you the details, they're not something you want to hear I'm sure. It was a horrible experience. I thought I had finally forgotten about it, but I guess it will always be there to haunt me."  
  
After Lex says this he feels so much better. Sharing this with Clark had somehow eased the burden of it on his mind. Maybe he could finally get some sleep; he was beyond exhausted now. "Clark, I'm so tired. I think I'm going to go back to bed. Are you going to join me or are you going to stay up?" Lex asks yawning uncontrollably.  
  
"You definitely should get some sleep, but I think I will just stay up. I'll be here when you get up," Clark says and kisses Lex lovingly on the forehead. "I love you, Lex," he says.  
  
"I love you, too, Clark," Lex says and then leaves for his bedroom. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, or maybe sooner.  
  
Clark had been absorbing all of this, and he was becoming increasingly furious with Lionel Luthor. How could a father do something like that to his son? The man was sick! He'd never wanted to hurt another human being in his life, but at this moment he wanted to hurt Lionel. But, Clark reasoned, you could hardly call Lionel a human being. Clark knew he couldn't really hurt Lionel, no matter how much he wanted to.  
  
As long as Clark was around, Lionel would never be able to hurt Lex again, he'd make sure of that. Lionel would never be able to hurt Lex again. Never again.  
  
~The End~ 


End file.
